Si Ferry Ferry
THIS must go down in history as the nation’s worst and strangest year since 1988… In Dundee, the year an absolute chancer was born. It was a year when, both in life and on the soccer pitch, we saw politicians making more bad decisions than I did, and let me tell you, that’s quite an accomplishment.
Had you told me that Jason, who is a fine, funny man, would have been trumped by a spleeny little political strategist as the greatest prankster of the Cummings clan, I would never have believed you.
My fellow native (and rogue) George Galloway of Dundon recently made the headlines. This is a man so out of touch with the common man that not only did he play with his family in a Queen of the South game during a national lockout, but he wore the full Queens jersey he received for Christmas and had the gall to pair it with his trilby hat.
In the new year, Steven Gerrard on the Dubai break, Premiership excuses and the momentum of Rangers
By the way, it’s nothing to do with social distance, or the fact that he was at a game where average people and real fans who pay good money don’t get in — it’s because I don’t think you can put a vaccine and a million bucks in the hand of a supporter from the Queen of the South to see his team play, especially now.
It doesn’t have anything to do with either Allan Johnston or Sandy Clark, who are a very strong management team, I guess. Any pair who would make it possible for Derek Lyle to go and ruin their training sessions must be nice guys, and when I played against them, I was also very impressed with the soccer their team produced at Dunfermline.
Covid, however, with its columnists, and with it, the success of Queens and the paper on Saturday, has caused Queens’ wage budget to drop even lower than the Glasgow Times.
It’s weird that he likes to watch Queens at a time when everybody feels worse than my career target point, just for the fun of it.
‘Defensively not secure’: Charlie Nicholas defines the ‘only hope’ of Celtic against Rangers
Dode seems to be a tough nut to crack and I’m not shocked by the fact that he’s not apologizing or even a little bit embarrassed of his behavior – nothing would after his appearance in the Big Brother house as a pussycat. I only hope the Queen of the South will be able to leave the relegation zone as soon as Rula Lenska got the milk out of George’s whiskers on national television when he was on his hands and knees.
I feel for Nicola Sturgeon, who has been under more strain than Kevin Kyle’s knee in the last nine months, though George brought it on himself. She did her best to get the nation through these horrible times while trying to preserve her appearance while addressing the country. It must be hard to keep up with Stuart McCall’s new hairstyle when you work 23 hours a day, because she is always going to the nearest barber.
I was promoted to coach last year and got my first taste of authority – no, I don’t know why they let me either – which led me to struggle to give orders to 18 young people to obey. For Nicola, I feel — I can’t imagine what it’s like to have millions of them tamed.
Hoops keeping close eye on Sparta Prague winger winger considering offer for Karlsson, Celtic
It might come as a shock to some people that I know all about politics, but I learned a few lessons after sitting down during our weekly coupon show with Derek Ferguson and Paul Slane. Fake tan, teeth whitening, and hair coloring were mostly involved, but beggars can’t be choosers.
I sincerely believe that if things don’t go to plan earlier this year, a new backroom team with Paul Slane as her deputy and Gavin Strachan as the head of the Defense Department should be picked up by the First Minister. I can picture Gavin and the big man with a laptop in Parliament House trying to find out whether she should go on the back (and sides) of her barnet with a three or a four.
In all seriousness, it’s been a heck of a year and I’ve tried to get through it for the first time in my life.
At times, I know this column was a lot of nonsense (as so many of you kindly told me on social media), but I guess the only way to get through it is to get the best out of it.