TALK about unlucky.
We have had enough thunderstorms to make Noah feel nostalgic.
But sizzling Salisbury racecourse has stayed drier than a night out with Tony Adams.
And that drought put the mockers on their meeting the other day.
Sunny skies and a decision not to water left the track’s gaffer, Jeremy Martin, with egg on his face and 37 non-runners to explain!
Mind you, journeyman jockey Ryan Tate had reasons to be cheerful.
This fella has been asking Santa for a big race since Donald Trump was doing his paper round.
And Tatey finally nailed a valuable pot when Alpinista sprang a 12-1 surprise in the Listed Upavon Stakes.
The hard-grafting 27-year-old said: “It’s been a while coming, so I’m very happy to get that monkey off my back!”
And think again if you reckon record-breaking 300-1 Leopardstown winner He Knows No Fear was a `skinner’ for the bookies.
The team over at Sporting Index report one brave Billy Bunter was chuffed when lucky Luke Cromer’s rag did the business.
The firm offer a bet on the total meeting SPs and the monster price contributed to a tasty four-figure payday for our man.
By the way, I hear Tim Easterby’s team are shaking their maracas and doing a rain dance for star sprinter Art Power.
The big grey is scheduled to have an arm-wrestle with Battaash in the Nunthorpe at York next week.
And the word is Tim’s crew expect their mud-lover to deliver if the weather watchers are right and a deluge arrives.
Talking of which, did you hear about the two fellas who were caught kayaking in a storm? They decided to light a fire to keep warm but burnt a hole in the vessel and sank.
That just goes to show you can’t have your kayak and heat it!
There were some hefty old punts this week but nothing to match the plunge on Star Of Bahrain (25-1 to 4s) at Kempton on Wednesday.
I’m told the layers fielded enough money for this fella to sort out Rishi Sunak’s problems.
Unfortunately, the horse dropped anchor halfway up the straight and is still on the missing persons list.
Red-hot Rossa Ryan rode that expensive flop but might have been sitting on something a bit special when he nudged River Alwyn home at Haydock.
Richard Hannon’s crew think this fella is smarter than the average bear, so stick him in your notebook.
On the subject of books, trainers Jonny Portman and Jenny Candlish must be fans of that saucy page-turner `Fifty Shades Of Grey’. The colour-blind duo both managed to enter a bay horse for the Grey Horse Handicap (3.15) at Newmarket.
Anyway, my mates in the Midlands are all over Mick Appleby’s Case Key in this 6f dash. The veteran speedball has already pinched this prize twice and I’m assured he is ready to rock’n roll today.
Finally, the Newmarket gallop watchers tell me George Scott’s Great Vibes has been throwing all the right shapes in her work.
There will be some long faces around town if she fluffs her lines in the fillies’ nursery (3.50) at HQ this afternoon.
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