“You know when you’re in a restaurant and an obnoxious, drunken ****hole yells at the waitress and talks loudly about people at other tables? Then his buddies take him home and the entire exhausted restaurant sighs with relief? I imagine that’s most of America.”You know when you’re in a restaurant and an obnoxious, drunken **** hole yells at the waitress and talks loudly at other tables about people? Then he’s taken home by his buddies and the whole exhausted restaurant sighs with relief? I assume most of America is.
Burning the brain?
Like a historian seeking to make sense of an ancient and bloodthirsty war like the Battle of Bannockburn, many years ago, in an elementary school in Paisley, the diary tries to collect information about the odd goings-on.
Our readers can remember that the principal ordered a whole class of unruly bullies (apart from the occasional do-gooder) to beat each other up.
By adding an alarming detail, Norman Geddes, a survivor of that day, helps us to understand the inhumanity of it all.
“All right, we’re going to have a massacre!”Okay, we’re going to have a massacre!
Drums of Puppets
Talking at school about shenanigans…. Reader Moira Campbell was once a licensed teacher for a third-graders’ class. The youngsters were given computerized dolls that behaved like real babies and told to care for them overnight in an attempt to understand parenting skills.
The next morning, Moira walked past a battered-looking child.
“Bad night?” she asked.
“Let’s put it this way, miss. I’m going to die a virgin.” the traumatized lad responded.
With Crimbo Crackers
Early this year, we’re concentrating on Christmas so we can share a few Christmas stories before the holidays are cancelled and replaced with a day of thanksgiving for St. Nicholas’ services.
Our latest mention of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer reminds comedian Andy Cameron of Boabby the Brown-Nosed Reindeer, Rudolph’s little friend, who ran right behind Rudolph but did not stop very well.
Comment Killer Comment Killer Comment
Reader Adam Burns saw two guys chatting while relaxing at a coffee shop. One was wearing a coat with a duffle.
“Like ma new coat?” he said to a friend of his.
“Nice,” replied the friend. “But how many duffles died so you can wear it?”
A television or no television?
“When he invited me to watch Netflix, we actually watched Netflix.”When he asked me to watch Netflix, we were actually watching Netflix.
Reader Robert Williams’ Thinking for the day: “Whoever decided to call them dentures missed a good opportunity to invent the word ‘replacement teeth.'”replacement teeth.