PUBLIC warning about wellbeing! Did you see The Midnight Sky, starring George Clooney and directed by him, so saccharine that it made your eyes rot? The maudlin sentimentality so beloved of U.S. actors, directors and filmmakers? – The Sussexes were contaminated.
I listened to the first delivery of their Archewell Audio Holiday Special under their Spotify offer of £ 30 million, so you don’t have to. “The year that defined vulnerability,”I’m Harry,”I’m Harry,”I’m Meghan,”I’m Meghan.”The year that defined vulnerability.
Then a bunch of their best friends – Elton John, James Corden and 11 others I’ve never heard of – stumble through and Meghan comes in with her catchphrase, “It’s so true.”
She psychobabbles, “Connection has been crucial for all of us this year, in whatever ways we’ve found it. Sometimes from afar, sometimes just through a screen.” For her, especially through a screen.
The former royal couple are talking about finishing the 34-minute show with This Little Light Of Mine, the song that ended their marriage. And here comes Harry: “Love always wins.” Cue Meghan: “It’s so true.” (Almost full lyrics: this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine, Yeah, this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.)
I had to take what would certainly be called a comfort break at this stage, as the contents of my lunch were revolting. Until I returned, at his first audition, I heard my son Archie, the Arch in Archewell, being coached to say “Happy New Year” like an aspiring child actor.
Then the first notes of the theme song rang out, but since my eardrums were so swollen, I couldn’t hear anything.
No broken resolutions any more
Two days into the new year and I have not broken any resolutions so far, but since this was published on Hogmanay, it would be difficult.
Last year, I didn’t make any, which is always the safest way to make sure that I don’t violate them, but at the start of the pandemic, I made a commitment to exercise more. My goodness, in the first couple of days, I also bought a gym membership – walk more and lose 14 pounds. So, down to 28 lbs.
Apparently, around 4,000 years ago, the ancient Babylonians were the first to do so, but their new year started in mid-March, when the first crops were sown. I suspect that when there was no Alan Titchmarsh to warn them, agriculture got a little out of control in those days.
They promised their gods that they would be nice, that they would keep the killing to a minimum and only when it was really important, that when the chariot races were in full swing, they would not walk on the city walls, and that they would remember to water the Hanging Gardens.
I was in Babylon and the U.S. was like that. Navy. Marines. They constructed a military base, helipad and other war facilities on the ancient Babylonian ruins in 2003, following the invasion of Iraq, causing irreparable damage, including to the Ishtar Gate, one of the most significant antiques in the world. 2,600-year-old brick pavements were also shattered by their tanks and heavy armor, scattering archaeological fragments across the site and worse. Archaeologists will still be digging Coca-Cola bottles out of the sand as ancient objects a thousand years from now.
Babylon was also Freemasonry’s birthplace—I’m lifting a pant leg to it! —and the inspiration for several albums, from Boney M to Lady Gaga to David Gray.
Strut, one mile walk,
Servier’s, Style Old City
Talk it out, babble on, babble on
Struggle for your life, Babylon
None of them are successful at all.
I would follow the resolutions of Jonathan Swift, the prophet of the Travels of Gulliver, who, at the age of 32, wrote down his own old age list, as I did. Among them was “Not to boast of my former beauty or strength or favor with the ladies” – a tough resolution to uphold, obviously.
“Not to listen to flattery or imagine that I can be loved by a young woman” — well, that’s a given. “Not to tell the same story over and over to the same people.” Which is difficult to keep up with when your memory is gnawing at the years and faces begin to blur. And “not being grumpy or surly or suspicious.” No, that’s too far a move. It will take the fun out of life.
Any linings of silver
THE 1650s were sort of like today. No, they were, except for electricity, the internal combustion engine, the digital stuff …. Anyway, wuuh, wuuh,