Patricia: I’m ashamed of my guilt about my husband’s dementia fight.
PATRICIA Hodge says she still regrets not being able to save her late husband from dementia. Peter Owen, a music publisher, died in 2016 at the age of 85 after a long fight with cancer.
However, the 74-year-old actress stands by her decision to work while husband is ill. She added it was “critical” for her to find a way out by acting as a “relief” so she wouldn’t “drown” while he deteriorated.
However, at the end of Peter’s life, Miranda confesses that she would enter the stage not knowing if he would make it through the night.
“More than anything else in the world, I miss family life,” Patricia stated. Those years of child rearing and living in a family unit are magical.
“Right now, life is fairly nice for me; I have everything I need. But it’s a world away from my married existence. Cooking for oneself is not enjoyable.”
Patricia, who plays Mrs Pumphrey in Channel 5’s upcoming second season of the revamped All Creatures Great And Small, cared for her husband of 40 years on her own at first, with the support of sons Alexander, 32, and Edward, 29. Peter, on the other hand, spent the last three years of his life in a care facility, allowing Patricia to “lose myself” in her acting.
“It’s a persistent guilt, and guilt is one of the most hardest things to deal with,” the Very English Scandal actress stated in a honest interview with Saga magazine.
“At the end of his life, I wasn’t sure if he recognized me as his wife or if he mistook me for a caregiver. Making the judgments you’d never want to make in a million years was the most difficult aspect.
“I was fortunate to have job to lose myself in, but I was compelled to make care arrangements in order to work.
“Many people who care for loved ones with dementia find that it consumes their entire lives. It’s critical to have relief; otherwise, you’ll drown in it.
“I’ve always believed that the one drowning is the one who is sick, and that a drowning person clings to the able person and practically lives through them.
“As a result, the caregiver is living two lives.”Brinkwire Summary News”.