He became the most controversial Bachelor in the show’s history after refusing to pick a winner during the dramatic finale last year.
And now Nick ‘Honey Badger’ Cummins has given a tell-all interview to Stellar magazine in which he calls his time on the show his ‘darkest days’.
The 31-year-old says he even feared for his soul and turned to prayer during filming after escaping from the set.
The former footballer tells Stellar that he made an escape while a minder was in the bathroom on set, explaining: ‘I just took off into the bush. And I went out there for hours and hours.
‘I remember stripping off to my undies and laying on a rock and I said a couple of prayers. I asked whoever was listening, “Help. Give me some guidance and give me some energy.” Because I was fading. My soul was going dark.’
Nick says he at times felt deeply unhappy on the reality program, telling the publication: ‘When I was in the deepest, darkest times during the show, I was thinking, “I don’t want to be here.” It’s a tough place to be in mentally.’
Rather than seeking therapy after the show, Nick fled into nature, where he feels his best.
The athlete said he found ‘getting out into nature is healing’ and has done a lot of growing up and soul searching since the show ended.
After his controversial decision to dump both finalists on The Bachelor last year, Nick famously went underground and dropped off the radar.
He spent time walking the Kokoda Track, before heading off to Far North Queensland and the Kimberley region.
Nick was widely slammed for picking neither Bachelor finalist, Brittany Hockley nor Sophie Tieman, leaving both women sobbing, humiliated and rejected.
He faced immense public scrutiny for the decision, and a round of TV interviews did little to endear fans of the show to the at times hapless footballer, who was honest in stating he had fallen in love with neither woman.