Although Jordan Rose, the author, has always believed in fairytales, her own story deviates from the conventional conclusion despite being intensely romantic.
The proposal, which included a fictitious charity dance, a white dress, a winter sunset, candles, flowers, and a decorated swing in her parents’ meadow, made the 32-year-old and Chris, 35, engaged.
However, neither Jordan nor Chris will move into each other’s homes in Kent or Crystal Palace, southeast London, when they get married in May 2027. The couple has no intention of ever cohabiting.
Here, Jordan explains why the arrangement is ideal for her.
Chris, my fiancé, has captured my heart. We are getting married in the spring of next year, and I am so excited to marry him.
However, after we exchange vows, Chris will go back to his house in Crystal Palace, southeast London, and I will go back to my house in Kent. Even when we get married, I don’t want to live with him.
We’re not going to split up. We have no doubts. Our commitment hasn’t decreased. In fact, I think part of the reason our relationship works so well is that we live apart.
I have a home of my own. Chris is the owner of his. We get the best of both worlds because we are only a 50-minute drive away.
Although author Jordan Rose (shown with her partner) has always believed in fairytales, her own story deviates from the conventional conclusion despite being intensely romantic.
Every week, we get together, usually on the weekends, though this varies depending on social and professional obligations. If I have a lot going on in London, I occasionally stay at his place longer. At other times, he spends a weekend in the country with me.
Typically, we don’t stay apart for more than ten days. Every day, we text nonstop. We communicate by phone, voicemail, and sharing all of our activities.
However, we each return to our respective homes after spending a few days together. To be honest, we adore it.
I initially met Chris at university about ten years ago. I still find it funny that we were both in show choir. At a fancy dress gathering, it was one of those absurd, romantic “eyes meeting across a crowded room” moments. I had on Rapunzel’s outfit. He was dressed as Robin Hood.
There was undoubtedly something there, but nothing occurred because we were both in relationships at the time.
Then, about four years ago, he sent me an Instagram message stating that he had wanted to ask me out ever since he was in college.
I could tell he was unique from our first date. I was always a little nervous around other men, even when I had feelings for them. I never had that with Chris. I’ve always remarked that no one else ever makes me feel as at ease as he does. It felt like calm waters from the start.
I had lived with two partners before Chris. Even if those relationships terminated for various reasons, I discovered something about myself: I don’t like living with a spouse.
The proposal, which included a fictitious charity dance, a white dress, a winter sunset, candles, flowers, and a decorated swing in her parents’ meadow, made the 32-year-old and 35-year-old Chris engaged.
The sensation of constantly having someone in my space has never appealed to me. I have a strong sense of independence. I adore my own house. To refresh, I need some alone time.
“But surely if it is the right person, living together would feel different?” is a common question.
I can see why they would question that. However, it doesn’t matter to me if Chris is the proper person. He is. It’s about knowing myself well enough to acknowledge that, even with the right person, I don’t think I’m made for living in a small area all the time.
My wardrobe is one of the two bedrooms in my house. Chris resides in London, where there isn’t much room. I doubt either of us would have the space we require unless we lived in a five-bedroom home where we could each have a separate area. Fortunately, Chris shares this sentiment.
The topic was brought up early in our relationship, most likely in the first several months. We were discussing how neither of us had truly enjoyed living with partners in the past.
“Well, why don’t we just not live together?” is what I recall saying. Because who says you have to when you truly break things down?
Couples typically move in together for three reasons: children, money, and social expectations. That justification does not applicable to us because we do not desire children. Both of us are doing well financially on our own. We recognize the benefit of being able to maintain our own homes. Furthermore, we don’t really give a damn about what other people think.
Why would we do it, we wondered?
Chris essentially said, “You’re right,” to my initial question, “But, why do we have to live together?” We don’t.
I meant it, even if it may sound casual. In my opinion, being married does not always require you to combine all of your practical aspects of life.
However, Jordan (pictured) will not be moving into Chris’s house in Crystal Palace, southeast London, upon their marriage in May 2027, and he will not be moving into her house in Kent. The couple has no desire to ever live together.
It doesn’t have to refer to a single bedroom, bathroom, front entrance, or daily schedule. We view marriage as a commitment to love. It is the understanding that, wherever we are, we will always choose each other.
“We are big fans of what works,” Chris frequently states. And this is effective. Fortunately, that was not altered by our engagement.
The most romantic moment of my life was when Chris proposed.
I mistakenly believed that we were attending an army charity gala. Chris had even gone so far as to have a phony invitation made and sent to me months before. My dad was in the army.
We traveled to my parents’ place, where I prepared for what I thought was a snowball-themed, white-tie affair. I was wearing white for that reason.
However, I discovered my mother had placed my shoes by the rear entrance rather than the front when I got downstairs. “Something is weird,” I recall thinking.
Chris proposed that we head to the meadow behind my parents’ house to watch the sunset after a short while. We frequently visit this lovely location together, and that December evening featured the most breathtaking winter sky.
I noticed a camera as soon as we stepped outside. That’s when I realized.
Then I noticed the flower-adorned swing. Candles, a fire pit, and a blanketed sofa were all there. I went utterly crazy. For 10 minutes or so, I simply kept laughing.
To be honest, I hardly heard a word of Chris’s remarks. I was so overwhelmed that I lost all consciousness. Fortunately, he had filmed the entire incident, so I could review it later and hear what he had said.
He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. That’s all I can truly recall from that exact moment. It was flawless.
However, there was no major discussion about whether I would now move in with him or if he would move in with me. Nothing would change, as was previously fully understood.
Naturally, some family members and friends have inquired. “So, where will you live after the wedding?” people ask. I simply inform them that we will remain the same.
Usually, there are two possible outcomes. Some folks understand it perfectly. People who already live with their partners frequently remark things like, “Oh my God, I love it when my partner goes away and I have the house to myself.”
And I believe that’s precisely right. We can obtain that at any time.
Some find it strange. “Why would you even want to get married if you don’t want to live together?” someone once asked me. However, I fail to see the connection. We don’t need to share a bathroom to demonstrate how much we love each other since I am confident enough in our relationship.
In actuality, married life will resemble our current lifestyle. We each store items at each other’s residences. He has items at mine, while I have clothes and toiletries at his.
As a fashionista who enjoys having options, I still bring a bag every time I visit him. The thought of packing a bag to visit their spouse is something that some people would detest. In fact, I like it.
Even if we’re not going out, I put on a good clothing and do my hair and makeup before seeing Chris. He also tries.
We can both return to our typical gremlin selves once we are at home. No cosmetics. Not a single effort. simply unwinding. I still get thrilled to see him as a result.
Even though we have been dating for three and a half years, I genuinely feel like we are still on our honeymoon. We have time to miss each other, which I believe contributes to it.
We have enjoyed spending two and a half weeks at a time on vacation together. Longer stays together are not problematic.
However, vacation is not like everyday life. When you’re on vacation, you don’t have to deal with the small annoyances, tasks, and routines that accumulate when someone is there all the time.
For instance, Chris gets irritated when I leave my old contact lenses on the side of his bath. I find it annoying that he keeps the lights in my bathroom on.
However, it never gets to a boiling point because we don’t live together full-time. It remains little. It continues to be humorous. Resentment does not result from it.
Of course, every relationship has its share of mundane, unromantic moments. We take care of one another when one of us is sick. I recently went to his because I was sick, and he took care of me till I felt better.
We call, text, leave voicemails, or arrange to meet up if one of us has had a difficult day. I occasionally accompany him home from work, and we also have those small domestic moments. He may cook, or I may cook.
The distinction is that there isn’t a set daily schedule. Week after week, it shifts, and I believe that diversity keeps things interesting.
I’ve been asked if I’m concerned about Chris cheating because we don’t live together. To be honest, no.
Men frequently cheat on the wives they live with. Physical space is not necessary for people to cheat. All they have to do is cheat. Previous partners have cheated on me while seated next to me at a birthday celebration. You could be betrayed by someone in the same room as you.
I acknowledge that Chris and I are extremely fortunate to have this option. Even though they would prefer to, not everyone can afford to live apart from their partner. Financial constraints force many couples to live together. We are lucky to be self-sufficient. I am acutely conscious of that privilege.
I believe we shall accept life as it comes, regardless of whether we will live apart indefinitely.
We do not intend to move in together to co-parent because we do not want children. But I am also aware that things change in life. As we get older, there can be situations or health problems that make living together more sensible. Perhaps when we’re in our 70s or 80s, we’ll realize that we need each other more than we do now.
We will adjust if that occurs. He’ll have to deal with my contact lenses, and I’ll have to deal with him leaving the restroom lights on. Like any other relationship, we’ll suck it up. However, this is what brings us joy at the moment.
Every marriage does not have to adhere to the same standard. A home, a bedroom, and a regular schedule are not necessary for every couple to demonstrate their commitment.
For us, choosing one another is the essence of commitment. loving one another. mutual trust. and constructing a future that genuinely benefits us.
I’m getting married to my true love. I simply don’t have to live with him to understand it.
Jordan Rose is getting ready for The Library of Stars, her first adult fantasy book, to be published in the summer of 2027.
