DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE had wonderful sex and fallen in love with a woman 20 years younger than me – she was in the same school class as my youngest son. Is there a future for us?
I’m a man of 46, divorced with three sons. The youngest is 26 and he lives with me now while he’s looking for work. The other two have moved on with their lives.
I’ve known this woman most of her life. She’s 25 now and was among my son’s group of friends at school. It never occurred to me then that we might get together one day.
But then last week I saw her in town, which I quite often do, and she waved and came over to talk.
We chatted and I had the weird thought that she was flirting with me. It’s been quite a long time since that happened to me, and never with someone so young.
She’s a beautiful woman and it felt like we clicked.
I invited her back to my house for a drink, as my son was away. It got pretty steamy that night and she gave me oral sex but that is as far as it went.
I had too much respect for the woman to try to go any further than that.
Then last night I sent her a text asking what she was doing. We swapped texts for an hour and then she came over to mine.
We had a few drinks and we went further this time — in fact, all the way.
It’s been a while for me and it was mindblowing.
She’s told me that she’s so into me but she’s not ready for a relationship.
I respect that, of course. I know that she’s had a rough time — she’s got a young son — but I feel like I’m falling in love.
Do you think there’s a future for us? Or am I just being a fool?
DEIDRE SAYS: Firstly, casual sex during a global pandemic is not a bright thing to do.
You feel like you’re falling in love but you have to admit you’ve only just met, as two adults at least, and don’t really know her that well.
You’ve been alone for a while and I do understand the attraction is strong but I suspect it’s more lust than love, with a sprinkle of fantasy thrown in.
Is there a future for you? That age gap won’t help, I’m afraid.
You’re at such different stages of life, with your children grown up and her son still young – and she may want a sibling for her little boy.
Are you ready to take on the parenting thing yet again?
Having said all of that, you’re both adults and these things can work if it’s what you both want. But from what she has said, I would doubt it’s heading that way.
In any case, make sure you use contraception.
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