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I felt neglected by my wife so I slept with my ex and now she’s pregnant

DEAR DEIDRE:  I GOT so frustrated while my wife was staying with her family abroad, I had a fling with my ex-girlfriend and now she’s pregnant.

When I met my wife through work three years ago we quickly fell in love and I broke my then-girlfriend’s heart.

We’d been living together but my wife and I were married a few months later and were very happy. I am 32 and my wife is 27.

Her family is Turkish. When her dad fell ill earlier this year she went to help her mum. I missed her terribly and we spoke every day online.

My ex texted me out of the blue. She’s 30. My wife had been away for a month by then so I was feeling lonely and suggested we meet.

It was a stupid idea as I knew she still cared for me.

She invited me to her house and she had cooked a fantastic meal.

There was a lot of wine and flirting that I didn’t resist and we ended up having sex. I was sex-starved and it was fantastic.

I felt guilty and should have left it at that one night, but we kept meeting.

As soon as it was possible after lockdown, I booked a flight to spend a couple of weeks with my wife. I needed to stop the affair too.

I didn’t tell my wife about my ex or that I’d cheated, but my ex kept texting me at odd hours and my wife got suspicious.

One time she picked up my phone, saw the number and demanded to know what was going on.

I confessed and her initial reaction was to ask me for a divorce. I told her I loved her and we could work it out.

Her dad is recovering and we flew back to the UK together a couple of weeks ago.

I was focused on mending my marriage but now I’ve heard from my ex that she’s pregnant and intends to keep the baby.

I am absolutely gutted. My wife and I don’t have kids but want them one day.

I’ve had to tell my wife about the baby as I intend to do the decent thing and support my child.

She hasn’t walked out but has become more distant every day.

DEIDRE SAYS: No wonder. It’s a huge change to take on board.

She thought she was one of a devoted loving couple and now she has to make room in her life and heart for your child by another woman.

For the sake of the love you have for one another, ask her to give your marriage a chance and have counselling together.

Hopefully she will see that the baby is no threat to your love for her but the child will be a constant reminder of your cheating.

If you love one another and still want a future together you can get through this. My e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Get Over It? explains how.

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