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Google is Back on Its Paper Phone Bullshit

If you’re an adult with all the self-control of an unsupervised child left in a sweet shop where everything is free, you’ll love the latest ‘innovtion’ from Google’s Special Projects.

It’s an envelope for your phone. Please, hold the fanfare and applause so we can appreciate the level of genius at play here. You pop your phone into one of two envelopes, each giving your phone a single designated function, and then you leave it in there until you want (or need) to get it out again. You’ll get informed of how long you successfully kept your phone in there on the accompanying app.

The first set of envelopes will make your smartphone a dumb phone. It can make and receive calls, and has a speed dial function so you don’t have to scribble down important numbers before sealing your handset away in its papery tomb. The second one turns your phone into a camera, letting you snap photos and record video, all of which you can’t actually see, because you put your phone in an envelope, if you recall, making this absolutely ridiculous.

This iteration of the paper phone follows last year’s take, which was essentially a small list of pertinent info from your device that you might want on hand during the day.

I’ve got to call bullshit on this digital detox malarkey, with paper phones, or phones that are just phones and still cost hundreds of pounds, like the Mudita Pure. If you’re struggling with self-control, a flimsy paper barrier that you can tear open isn’t going to pose as much of a deterrent, and you shouldn’t need to fork out for a bare-bones phone that costs as much as a mid-range/ budget smartphone.

Uninstall some apps for the day and turn off your WiFi/mobile data. There. You’ve saved cash, time, and paper. You’re welcome. [Experiments with Google via Trusted Reviews]

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