GLASGOW author Deedee Cuddihy has received an order for her latest book from no less an institution than the Bodleian Library at Oxford University.
Copies have also been requested for Cambridge University Library, the National Library of Scotland, the National Library of Wales, and Trinity College in Dublin.
But what scholarly volume will these august institutions place on their hallowed shelves?
Deedee’s sordid opus magnum, The Wee Guide To Scottish Swearing.
Having perused the book in question, the diary can confirm that it is scatological rather than scholarly.
On the other hand, it has more entertainment value than Immanuel Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason, which (unfortunately) can also be found on the shelves of our better libraries.
Amazement by book
In a related matter, reader Matt Brown recently had to struggle at his local library. “I couldn’t find a book on camouflage,” he sighs.
It’s up the number
The other day, a HOOPS fan from Bishopbriggs was listening to a sports program on Radio Scotland. At one point, pundit Michael Stewart said of Celtic’s shaky form, “Their position is untenable.”
Our reader fervently hopes Stewart is wrong and that Celtic’s position is not only untenable this season, but that it will become elevenable next year.
Addressing the situation
We heard from one lucky guy from rural Dumfries and Galloway who bragged on social media that he had finally managed to get an appointment with his dentist.
“The problem is,” he said, “I’m supposed to show up wearing a mask and ‘a minimum of clothing.’ Could that mean a bathing suit? I think it’s going to be an interesting day…”
A heavenly speech
We continue to remember the good sayings of the late golf commentator Peter Alliss. One Denny reader recalls Alliss watching a hapless golfer struggling to get his ball out of a bunker. The distraught athlete ended up with his arms raised high, face to the sky, muttering silently.
“Asking for outside help is against the rules of golf,” Alliss stated dryly.
Another memorable phrase used to describe the skinnier guy. Bob Wallace of Pollokshields, Glasgow, recalls being told about skinny guys, “Ah’ve seen mair fat oan a creashy knife.”
Another popular saying was, “Ah bet he’s a braw singer. He’s got goat legs like a lark.”
A tricky problem
People often receive motivational advice not to buckle under pressure. Reader John Mulholland asks, “How does that work when you’re a contestant in an origami competition?”