‘That’s another £700 down the drain,’ says the narrator. Jeremy Clarkson discusses the financial difficulties he faces on the farm.
JEREMY CLARKSON discussed his latest financial woes on Diddly Squat Farm, where a wet crop resulted in high costs.
Jeremy Clarkson, 61, was not pleased to find that his farm had suffered yet another loss owing to a wet crop. The inexperienced farmer and his workers at Diddly Squat had been working long hours, day and night, to harvest the fields while the weather has been dry, but even though they thought they did a good job, the result was still costly.
Another £700 has been squandered.
The Grand Tour host explained in his current column for The Times that they were able to cultivate 50 acres before the moisture meter indicated that dew was on the way.
Despite the fact that the barley was only “just” dry enough to do so, it was still bad news.
“A whole lorry load was delivered to the grain merchant, who called the next day to say we hadn’t stopped in time, and that 1.2 tonnes of the 30 he’d picked up were practically water,” he wrote.
“Understandably, he stated that he would not be paying for it, thus the price was reduced by £170.
“And don’t forget, £170 is £26 more than the farm earned last year in total.”
But Jezza’s ordeal was far from over.
He moaned, “There was more too.”
“We’d be charged £256 since the 29 tonnes of actual barley we’d delivered him had to be dried before it could be transformed into hen chow.
“At the very least, things became worse because five of the tonnes we’d harvested wouldn’t fit in the lorry, and because it wasn’t worth it to obtain another truck for such a tiny amount, it’s been sitting out in the open for a week, growing crusty, damp, and useless.
He grumbled, “So that’s another £700 down the sink.”
Jeremy also mentioned that there was another major issue on the horizon.
He added, “I can’t get next year’s oil-seed rape in the ground since we still have half a big field of barley to harvest.”
“Which means the dreadful flea beetle will be out there, knife and fork in hand, napkin tucked in, when we do.
“At the very least, I won’t have to worry about the pigeons eating the rape if the bugs eat it all.”
But, along with the wailing, came a startling realization.
He is right now. “Brinkwire News in Condensed Form.”