Even if you’ve split up, never refer to your partner as an ex… it could harm your child.


SUPERSTAR Adele has revealed she found it tough to talk about her divorce from Simon Konecki with eight-year-old son Angelo.

The singer, 33, who is now dating sports agent Rich Paul, 39, said: “My son has had a lot of questions. Really good questions, really innocent questions, that I just don’t have an answer for.”

She added that he once asked, “Why can’t you still live together?” Adele said her new album, 30, is in part an explanation to Angelo about why she chose to “dismantle his entire life” in pursuit of her own happiness.

Figures show around half of parents split up.

Author Tanith Carey reveals how best to communicate with a child when a relationship breaks up.

WHILE grown-ups know that relationships are complicated, young children will see your split in black and white terms and want to know how it will affect them.

They will be frightened by the idea that parents can “stop” loving one another and wonder if that means adults might stop loving them too.

They may start regressing to a time when they felt more secure.

Clinical child psychologist Dr Angharad Rudkin says: “When young children see their parents are no longer living together, they may unravel a bit as they have lost the world as they knew it.

“They may lose some of the skills they’ve developed, such as toilet training and being more independent.”

HOW TO HELP: Choose your words carefully. Avoid saying you no longer love each other, which makes love sound like a tap that could be switched off for them too.

The best message you can give is: “Mummy and Daddy are no longer living together.

“Both of us will always be here to care for and love you.”

Explain you have problems that are separate from them — and that you will both be happier if you live in two homes instead of one.

Try to keep life the same as it has always been, so that the world still feels like a safe and predictable place.

Ask your ex to keep the same routines for bedtimes and meals when they are with them.

Suggest children draw how they are feeling or play role games with their toys, so they can express their emotions.

BY this age, children have got a clearer idea about how they feel families “should” look — and that children are supposed to live with both a mummy and a daddy. They may feel angry that these “rules” are being broken.

At this stage, kids might think they are to blame.

Dr Rudkin says: “Their brains are busy making all sorts of links and patterns to… Brinkwire Brief News.


Comments are closed.