There’s a new edition of “Law & Order,” and it’s called “Winter Crimes.” (“Dun Dun.”)
On April 6, the Depew Police Department in upstate New York “arrested” winter via a Facebook post, most likely on loitering charges since winter is refusing to make way for spring. The post also called for the arrest of Punxsutawney Phil for his winter-supporting predictions. Too bad a local New York police force doesn’t have the jurisdiction to arrest a Pennsylvania groundhog. It may take some some interstate cooperation to bring an end to this wintry scourge.
The Depew police force and the Erie County prosecutors’ office will have to come up with a pretty sweet deal for winter to turn on the groundhog. After all, Phil’s prediction “determines” whether or not winter gets to stick around, so there’s a history of cooperation there. It’s because of Phil that winter is able to line its pockets, digging its icy fingers into people and making winter heating bills skyrocket — at least when the power stays on.
The negotiations may be heading in the right direction, however. According to the weather.com forecast for this week, much of the continental U.S. will experience much warmer, spring-like temperatures by the end of the week.
Related on MNN: What is winter fatigue?